A popular song from the 1980s has a refrain that goes, “Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.” The rest of the lyrics describe a frenzied, passionate and borderline obsessive type of desire — all hallmarks of a real-life love addiction.
While “love addiction” isn’t an official diagnosis, psychologists say the concept can help explain and identify certain relationship patterns and emotional struggles. Psychologist Gina Gerardo, PhD, shares insight.
What is love addiction?
“Love addiction” is often used to describe the way an obsession with romantic relationships can become unhealthy.
Love addiction isn’t a diagnosable medical condition — it’s more of an abstract concept. But it may be a type of behavioral addiction, an activity or habit that becomes all-consuming and negatively affects your health and overall quality of life.
Where healthy relationships tend to feel balanced and supportive, love addiction can often feel distressing or disruptive. A 2023 study describes it as an overwhelming and even compulsive longing for love, attention and affection from others.
“It can mean constantly seeking out romantic partners or developing feelings toward a specific person in an unhealthy or extreme way,” Dr. Gerardo explains. “Your emotional stability or sense of self-worth often depends heavily on another person — or on whether or not you’re in a relationship at all.”
You might also hear a love addiction called:
- Affective dependence
- Affective addiction
- Emotional dependence
- Obsessive love disorder
- Relationship addiction
Signs that you’re addicted to love
Certain patterns can signal that your views on love have crossed into unhealthy territory. Signs include:
- Obsessive thoughts: You may feel so preoccupied with thoughts of love, romance or a specific person that it’s hard to focus on other aspects of your life. That could include work, friends or family responsibilities.
- Clinginess: An intense fear of being alone or left behind can lead to “clingy” behavior. That could mean wanting to be with the other person all the time or needing constant reassurance or validation.
- Emotional highs and lows: Your mood may depend heavily on the state of your relationship. “You may feel a euphoric feeling that’s more than what’s normally experienced in romantic relationships,” Dr. Gerardo says.
- Inability to be alone: You might experience intrusive thoughts or emotional distress when your partner isn’t around. You could also move quickly between relationships to avoid being alone after a breakup.
- Unhealthy relationship patterns: This can look like repeating cycles of intense, short-lived relationships or staying in relationships that are unhealthy or toxic despite obvious red flags.
- Neglecting self-care: You may prioritize a partner’s needs over your own by putting your goals, interests and well-being on the back burner.
Love addiction can also really take a toll on your mental health and self-esteem. That same 2023 study found that unhealthy attachments between adults can lead to intense negative emotions and feelings of low self-worth.
“If it’s harming your other relationships with friends and family or if it’s keeping you from other responsibilities — like work, taking care of children, keeping up with bills or medical appointments — that’s a sign that there could be a problem,” Dr. Gerardo says.
Why does it happen?
There’s no single cause of love addiction. Psychologists believe this unhealthy view of relationships is driven by a mix of emotional patterns, relationship experiences and brain responses. Those factors may include:
- Neurobiology: Certain activities (in this case, giving and receiving romantic attention) activate the “reward center” of your brain by releasing the feel-good chemical dopamine. “When those feelings are intense, your brain may push you to seek them out again and again,” Dr. Gerardo explains. “That can make certain patterns very difficult to break.”
- Childhood trauma: Traumatic experiences as a child can affect how you process emotions as an adult. If safety, consistency and emotional support were unpredictable growing up, you may have learned to cling tightly to others. That can set the stage for intense relationship patterns.
- Insecure attachment: A 2025 review of studies found a positive relationship between love addiction and anxious attachment style. “If you fear rejection or abandonment, you may feel the need for constant validation,” Dr. Gerardo says. “That can make distance or uncertainty feel especially difficult. But it can also make relationships especially emotionally charged.”
- Codependent tendencies: Codependency is when your sense of stability or self-worth is closely tied to someone else. You may focus heavily on your partner’s needs while neglecting your own. That can create a dynamic that makes it hard to set boundaries or step back from unhealthy relationships.
- Low self-esteem: When you don’t feel confident in your own worth, romantic attention may feel like proof that you matter. “Low self-esteem can affect how you see yourself and what you expect from relationships,” Dr. Gerardo says. “That can raise the emotional stakes of relationships and make being alone feel especially uncomfortable.”
Symptoms of love addiction can also overlap with other mental health disorders and even magnify symptoms of conditions like:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Low self-esteem
- Sleep disturbances
- Codependency
- Eating disorders
- Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Is there a treatment for love addiction?
Even without a formal diagnosis, you can still take steps to address the behaviors and emotional patterns linked to love addiction.
“If you find that love is becoming particularly distressing or disruptive to your life, it’s worth addressing the issue and potentially seeking treatment,” Dr. Gerardo says.
Rather than trying to ditch love completely, you can work to find a healthy balance. Here are some of the coping strategies she recommends.
- Try therapy. If love addiction is affecting your health or relationship, a therapist can help. They’ll work with you to get to the root of the problem and address issues like childhood trauma or low self-esteem.
- Try couples therapy, too. If you’re having trouble putting your emotions into words, couples counseling can help you and your partner better communicate and understand the issues.
- Get comfortable being alone. This doesn’t mean you have to break up with your paramour! But a combo of mindfulness practices (like meditation and journaling) paired with intentional self-care can help you learn to enjoy your own company.
- Create healthy boundaries. If you’ve only known unhealthy boundaries, this can be a lot easier said than done. But working to establish, enforce and identify healthy boundaries is a critical piece of fostering healthy relationships.
- Open the lines of communication. Having open dialogue about what you’re feeling can bring clarity to your relationships. “Being honest with your partner about the complicated emotions you’ve been having can help you both work through them,” Dr. Gerardo says.
- Seek outside perspectives. When relationships become all-consuming, they can create blind spots. Ask trusted friends or family members for insight, as they may notice patterns or problems that are hard to see from the inside.
Final thoughts
The song “Addicted to Love” also includes the lyrics, “A one-track mind, you can’t be saved” … but it was wrong about that. Love addiction can be managed — and overcome — with intentionality, introspection and professional guidance.
“If you find yourself completely engrossed with someone, to the point that it’s affecting how you eat, sleep or react to stressful situations, then it’s time to assess your relationship with love,” Dr. Gerardo states. “There are ways to turn it into a more positive force in your life.”